The Good & The Bad of Being a Foreign Teacher

Lately I've been thinking about how much I enjoy being a foreign English teacher in a foreign country.  Of course there are many challenges that come along with this title, but I find those challenges exhilarating, most of the time anyway.  There are some moments where it shows me that I am meant to be a teacher and there are other moments where I doubt myself (at least the teacher part).  Last semester I had a lot of doubts, but with the new term I believe I found my footing and realized my love for the kids was what made teaching so exciting for me. So now I will tell you the good and the bad things about being a foreign teacher.

Lets start with the Good:

Money:
You live like a Queen or King!

Kids Love You:
Mostly you will find that children are very excited to have a foreigner come teach them once a week.  Their

faces light up when you walk in the room, initially just because you are a foreigner and look quite different, but then it changes into, "She's my foreigner!" which makes you smile every time.

Parents Love You:
Pleasing the parents of the children is just as important as pleasing the children (usually through games).  If you don't do what the parents want then the parents will complain.  If you don't look foreign sometimes they also complain (it's China, don't question their logic).  Luckily for me all my parents seem to like me, one because I am foreign and look foreign, and two because I remember most of their children's names and I interact with them outside of the classroom as well (meaning I poke them in the ribs when I see them on the street, put my hand on their head, or just wave hello!).

Chinese Schools Love You:

I have worked at many different schools and all of them have wanted me to work their full time.  I try not to let these comments get to my head because I know it's just so they can show me off to the parents and charge them more.  Yet the comments still make you feel good.  Recently, I have been going to this middle school and the kids are wonderful.  These kids are just regular pre-teens and teenagers who have never spoken to a foreigner before, so when I walk in the kids go crazy.  Crazy excited, I mean.  Even their Chinese English teacher is very kind and whips out his/her camera to take photos of you interacting with the children. Most of the kids, after the initial excitement wares off they realize, "Oh shit, it's a real foreigner and we get to talk to her. What do I say? What if I say it wrong?"  So, in order to break the ice I tell them my name, which is Kat.  I explain that it's not Kate, but sounds just like Cat, the animal.  Then I do their cat action which is mimicking whiskers on your face.  They all laugh, thankfully.

You Can Be Funny and Goofy (Without Looking Stupid)
If I was teaching in the US and I walked into a middle school full of teens, I would try to be cool and

collected, you know?  But in China I am a goofball.  Most of my closest friends know how out-going and funny I can really be.  In China, as a foreign teacher, you are like an animal in a zoo; the more you get the visitors to laugh the more bananas you get (of course I don't get paid more, I wish!).  You may not get paid more, but it makes you popular and it makes the Chinese students laugh and have fun; breaks the ice in another way.  I have literally danced, like did robot moves, in a class full of teens (by the way they loved it).  As I look back on moments like those I roll my eyes, while my smile comes quickly because I remember all the kids who laughed.


You Get Lots of Free Stuff:

I can't begin to tell you how awesome free stuff is, even in the US free stuff was why I went to a lot of events where I ended up gaining a lot of knowledge about things I had no interest in (Oh college!). Here in China, I get free stuff or cheaper stuff just from being a foreigner, but also because I am a foreign teacher.  Most of my kids gave me presents for my birthday, which doesn't happen to a lot of foreigners apparently (I also told them it was my birthday the week before, just a little *hint hint nudge nudge*).  I expect nothing when I go places and I receive.  I have gotten many things as a "Thank You" from the children I teach or from the school administrators who are grateful that I came and interacted with their students.  I love free stuff!

Now some of the Bad:

Popularity Sometimes Bites
Being too popular can sometimes be not fun at all.  Being popular means everyone wants you.  I am a foreigner, who looks super foreign and is from America, those three combinations makes me like a shiny new toy.  I like having my breaks during the week and in the beginning of the semester I had a lot of breaks during my weekends as well (one point I even took a nap in between teaching times, oh the good days!).  Yet because of some minor set backs (meaning parents complaining and a teacher leaving) I had to pick up a lot of the slack.  My breaks got shorter and I found myself doing some things I'd never done before (like Open House).  Because of Open House classes more students started signing up, which to Aston means "Oh lets open another class in the middle of the semester, eight weeks behind everyone else's classes!" Guess who got one of those classes? Me, of course, because I was requested.  Don't get me wrong I love the students and my CT Peter is awesome, plus it's a small class (only 7 kids) so they get a lot of one-on-one time.  My Saturday is like Dooms Day.


Staring
Even as a teacher you get stared at a lot.  Parents are more curious than their children, so their stares when you walk to their child's class is like a lazer beam (Yes, the parents sit outside the classroom and wait for their child's class to be over, overprotective much? Sometimes it's their grandparents).

Personal Space

When you are a foreigner you get no personal space.  For example, when you are sitting in the office a father will come in and stand right behind you and watch what you are doing (for this instance I was grading).  Most of the Chinese have really bad halitosis, so you nearly faint when they breath on you (don't even get me started on the crowded buses and breath!).  It's not just the parents, but the kids as well.  Most of the kids they want to touch you and hug you, but for me it's ingrained to not touch children in any way or I will get shot or sued.  Here, you won't.  Why? Because the parents want their children to be close to the foreigner.  It's weird.  So, I have gotten over most of my fears and I have hugged children and picked them up and tickled them and hit them with my book (not really hard, in all honesty the kids enjoy being klunked in the head by any object, especially if it squeaks).  But sometimes, the kids swarm you.  I hate swarming by anything, so when the kids attack me for candy or stickers I get agitated.  Sure they look all cute an innocent as they come at you, but they will take you down for a sticker.  I like my personal space very much, so when a group of teenage girls come at me, to ask about Justin Bieber not about English, my immediate response is to back up.  I still get surrounded and then they want to be hugged (They were literally 14 year old girls).

Massages in China

Me and the girls getting ready for our massages!

I've been thinking about writing a lot recently due to the fact that it was my one year anniversary from my college graduation.  A lot of my posts have been reporting things I have done and updating everyone on the decisions I have been thinking about making.  So, now I will be trying to write more detailed and humor filled posts, as most of my experiences in China are amazing and quite hilarious, so they deserve more to them then the brief mentions.  This post will be looking at my Chinese massage experiences.

After one really long teaching weekend during my first semester the whole team decided to go for a massage together at this new massage place. The massage place was called the Royal Palace Massage City.  When walking in you are impressed by the beauty and elegance of the place.  You are greeted by two beautiful women dressed up in gorgeous dresses.  All the men in the front were dressed in suits and honestly made me think they were undercover agents for the Chinese government.  This was the first massage in China I had ever done so I just followed everyone else.  We all took off our shoes of which they took away and gave us room keys and flip flops.  

During this night we had three guys and three girls, so the girls all had a room together and two

of the guys got a room together and the other a private room.  The rooms were super nice, fancy beds that leaned up or dow for your comfort and a TV you could watch, free drinks and snacks, plus if you wanted to stay the night to rest you could.  You get to choose a man or a woman masseuse, so me and a friend of mine chose a woman and the other chose a male.  We opened our package of clothes and changed quickly.  Our masseuses came in two girls and one guy.  The girls were dressed very slutty...  And I don't say that lightly; stiletto heels, tight pink shirt and a black mini skirt.  That was our first clue as to what kind of massage place this was.  

See? Those clothes aren't very professional

Most of the masseuses came by the room to see us foreigners, which was sort of normal for us.  They soon brought in a big wooden bucket full of water. I could see the steam coming from my bucket and my masseuse, who was a kind of macho looking chick but still very pretty, grabbed my feet and put them into the water.  THE WATER WAS THE TEMPERATURE of HELL!  I was lucky I didn't knock her out with how fast I removed my feet.  I thought my skin had burned off.  I knew Chinese liked to drink hot water, but to burn off their skin was a new thing for me.  At the point I had yelled a lot about how hot it was and my friends were also saying how hot the water was, thank god I wasn't alone.  They brought us some other water that wasn't hot and poured it in.  After awhile I dipped my feet back in, which I don't think it was any less hotter, but that instead all of the feeling in my feet had burned away.

After the foot massage they began the actual massage, everything was going alright besides my masseuses clothes which kept not covering enough.  We were soon flipped onto our backs, one of my friends had the male masseuse and he was quite faster than mine.  I liked all my back massages before, which were by male and female masseuses, so I wasn't worried about this one.  

Then it happened.  All the pain came.  My masseuse was SO STRONG.  I was literally wiggling and grunting in pain as she was massaging me.  At that point I hadn't learned the words for "stop" or "you're too strong" or "be more gentle".  I just kept chanting "You're so strong.  Why do you enjoy hurting people! I'm in so much pain." Honestly, I don't think I would have remembered at that moment even if I did know them.  My friends were laughing at my pain, as most friends do, which for some reason we never take offense to later on because oh yeah we would've laughed too.  Then the strangest thing happened, my masseuse started laughing at me and so did the other two.  I realized she understood me and repeated my "So strong."  I wish she actually knew what it meant because she really just kept getting stronger.  The Chinese way for a massage is literally to hurt you because then they started to pinch me everywhere!  PINCHING hurts!!! I found no meaning for the pinches.  

Bowling water!!!

• Side Note: To show you how crazy some Chinese traditions for medicine or getting better are: When you aren't sleeping correctly or you're sick Chinese will smack the inside of your elbow, (that place where they take blood from you) and HIT IT HARD.  They will take turns hitting you until you bleed.  If you bleed red you are healthy, but if you bleed black you are sick (all I could think if you bleed black is that you are an alien).  I nearly fainted when I saw my CT's doing this and they saw my face of absolute horror and laughed. 

Next on the massage schedule was our thighs.  As I said earlier my friend with the male masseuse was a lot quicker than me and my other friend.  When we heard her squeal of surprise and hysterical laughter we were quite surprised.  We asked her what was wrong because her face was red and her masseuse looked confused.  

"My masseuse just touched my foofy!"  I had no idea what a foofy was till that night - means the vajayjay (well at least to my friend it does).

I was shocked, especially when I realized that me and my friend were next for that body part massage.  The masseuses were talking to each other, the poor male masseuse looked frightened.  Me and my friend immediately blocked that part ourselves and shook our heads no.  I also added in the Chinese words for "No want!"  We all then covered our breasts and said no as well.  We could hear next door the boys giggling and we suspected they also figured out what the massage really entailed.

After the massage we sat reminiscing about our experiences, while watching some lions take down an antelope.  My friends husband came into our room. he was the one who got his own private room.  We asked him how it was.  (Dialogue as best as I can remember it)

Him: "It sucked. She didn't even smile at me.  I could hardly feel anything and she was so lazy."

Foofy (Her nickname for the story): "I got violated and fondled on my foofy."

Me: "I was burned, pinched and broken by my masseuse."

Him:  "I wish I was violated.  I didn't even get a whole massage, it only lasted 30 minutes."

His wife: "Hey!" --> It's okay she got a male masseuse the next time we went :) See the picture!

The male was a better masseuse she said.

Him: "Just kidding.  I love you."

The other boys came in from their massage and told us about their similar experiences, but well the guy version.  They also told us about how they could hear us screaming and laughing through the walls.

The guys looking good!

Later on that week we learned that that massage place wasn't in a great part of town, so most of their customers come for "extra" services by the masseuses.  For some reason none of us were very surprised by this, but we decided not to go back to that place for well the obvious reasons.

The second massage experience in another place was a lot better.  We got to share the room with all the boys, which made it much funnier.  Although I still got the strongest woman and screamed a lot about how strong she was and I got pinched (it's a Chinese thing I guess).  

The added bonus was they treated us like circus people, so basically we were turned into pretzels.

See? A Pretzel!

A Student Named Bob

I feel like this when yelling at Bob!

I teach two upper level classes, one being C12 in which I have seven students.  Three of the students (David Fish, Debbie and Iris) I have taught in C11 and they are great students.  One student named Sky, is 22 years old (very intelligent but needs help with pronunciation) and two other goofball boys named Neil and Oneil who are easily distracted and also easily bored.  

The last student is named Bob, which describes him perfectly he is quite tall for his 16 years of age.  He never misses class and is usually on time, but he literally does nothing.  He just sits in class and only speaks Chinese.  I yell at him at least six times every class because he is speaking Chinese; like this: "Bob!" which scares the hell out of him, which in turn makes me feel better. Don't get me wrong I have a lot of patience for students but nonstop Chinese is quite distracting in class, especially since I don't know what is being said (C12 is just me no translator). This class is C12, so these students should speak English about 70% of the time at least, Bob I think has said three full English sentences at a C3 level.  Moments like these frustrate me because if he isn't at the level as the other students he shouldn't be in the class, but because my school is a business most students are just passed along each level because their parents pay for that.  

Every week I have to fight to get Bob to say anything, let alone doing the Writing Exercise every day or the homework.  About midway to the Midterm I give my higher levels an idea of their grades privately, telling them about missing homework or tardiness and their behavior in class.  One of my best students is being affected by Bob in class because he is a huge distraction.  I know Bob isn't stupid because he laughs at some of my jokes in class, which means he has some listening and comprehension skills. 

"I'm calling your Mom" - Exactly like Bob's face LOL

My happy dance!

When it came to Bob's turn for evaluation I went and got a Chinese teacher to translate how serious I was.  Bob had all 0's, which I showed him and I told him I would Fail him if he didn't show improvement.  I also told him I would call his mother and show her all his 0's.  The look that came over his face was priceless.  When I said the word mother he got scared, so I assume his mother would be horrified at her sons lack of taking these expensive English classes for granted.  

The next week and the week after that he made up the six assignments he missed; his spelling was decent and writing was thankfully legible (average writing and grammar skills).  He can't make up most of the participation points he missed, but at least he is doing his homework.  He said two full sentences by himself last week and read some written sentences, which I feel is an accomplishment.  Now I just threaten to call his mother every time he misbehaves and my other students don't encourage Bob to goof around as much because they are afraid I will call their mothers LOL.

The Three B's: Busy! Busy! Busy!

I've just realized how long it has been since I last posted here.  I've literally just been busy, not saying that all my busyness comes from my work, but also stemming from exploring and having fun with my friends.  I will try to update you as best as possible.

My new schedule was very light in the beginning of the new term but as always things change dramatically in China within weeks.  My manager decided to leave the school and pursue teaching at another school, so naturally we had to pick up the slack that was left behind.  This brought a lot of changes in our classes and sadly our break times.  I was given two Open House classes, which is basically a demo class for perspective students.  It would be cool if I didn't teach the same thing every single week: colors.  I know you're saying colors is fun, but I only teach 4 colors; red, green, blue and yellow.  So, in order to keep myself entertained I create new games every week involving those four colors.  I have to say I have learned that ending a class with the kids laughing is the most important thing, so I always give them high fives, hand shakes (with a lot of arm movement) and a leg shake (the kids go ape-shit for that).  So far, in the 4 four weeks I have given those classes I got 9 kids to sign up!  Nine kids is a lot, but sadly with sign-ups come more classes to teach an these classes are 8 weeks behind.  I got a new C1 class starting next week so I will have to make up eight of their previous classes near the end of the term.  I can't complain too much though because I still get three days off a week where I can do whatever I want.

During my days off where I actually do something I go to Xi'an, a larger city about an hour in a half away by
public bus, to see my friend Eric.  We met in Cambodia for our TESOL training and realized we were going to the same province, so we became quick friends.  A couple weeks ago we started talking about where to teach for the next term, especially since the U.S. job market still isn't all that great.  We decided it would be cool if we could teach in the same school because having a friend to talk to while in a foreign country away from your loved ones and friends is very important to your overall happiness.  So, naturally I did all the research and then told him what we should do.  He wanted to be a manager and honestly, yes I could have been the manager easily especially with my foreign looks but I know I'm not ready for the yet, but perhaps next year!  So, Eric got the management position at Hefei, Anhui Province while I reasoned with the school about my position and salary.  In the end I won and got an Advanced/Senior Teaching position (they made it just for me) with a 300 RMB advance (I make 6,000 RMB a month now, and when I go there I will make 7,300 RMB a month).  I will be working more hours but that is fine, since Eric and I will be working together to make the school into one of the best Aston's.  

Click and get some info about the Province I'm going to teach at!

• My co-worker got engaged and I helped him!

• My friends mother and brother are visiting this weekend, so I will probably go to see the TerraCotta Warriors again (but this time it will be warmer!)

• I teach at a Kindergarden called Kids Castle and I teach 2 baby classes (3 years old) and a Primary class (4-5 years old).  They are so cute! Will post pictures later.

• Mothers Day is this weekend and it's once again on my birthday like when I was born!

• It's my 5 year anniversary with my wonderful fiance Jose G. Villa (looking forward to another 5 years and so on).

• This weekend marks one year since I graduated college!