Less than 48 hours

It's hard to believe in less than 48 hours I will be arriving at LAX airport to start my journey.  I know this is the right decision, but it is definitely a hard one. The quickest of my stays was with my fiance due to the amount of calm and peace I felt while being near him in our home.  That is also why the decision to leave is so hard now.  I've come to love my fiance more now than ever, so the separation will be more difficult.  My fiance and I also got two beautiful female kittens the second day I arrived, we decided it would be good so they could keep me company while he was working and once I leave keep him company whenever he is home alone.  

It's true summer has gone quickly, but thank god I made room for a break instead of jumping right into the program.  I've heard some of the people in the program haven't gotten their visa's yet, which means they will have to be examined in Cambodia and send their passport back to the US in order to get approved.  I'm very lucky I applied so early.  Even though I have gotten everything done that I needed done, I feel slightly unprepared as I usually do before flying into the unknown.  Questions and doubts run through my mind daily: What if I don't have enough money to get my through almost 3 months without pay? What if my Chinese visa is somehow flawed? What if they ask me to buy a return flight? What if I fail? What if when I get to China they find something wrong with me and have to send me back? What if no one likes me in Cambodia or China? What if I don't have friends?  These thoughts I can't make go away until I am over those hurtles.

I face bigger challenges than most who travel to teach abroad, such as I've never taught before, I've never travelled out of the US before, I've never had an actual job out of college and I don't have a lot of money to lean on (meaning no parents who can send me emergency money).  I've saved up some money about $1500, which hopefully gets me through the days without pay or I'm pretty screwed.  But the biggest challenge I face is that I'm diabetic.  Being diabetic isn't so bad, sure you take injection shots 4-5 times a day of two different types of insulin, but when you have no insurance that's when you run into the hard part.  I knew going into the program I would have to buy the insulin in bulk before I left for Cambodia at least 2-3 months worth.  The Humalog I got for free via my college health center, which saved me because the usual cost is $155 a vial per month.  But the Lantus (a newly prescribed insulin for me, which does work better) I couldn't get for free, so I bought 3 vials for 3 months, which cost me $408, plus the syringes which are $15 a box.  That's why before the summer began I had $2000 saved up, knowing I would ultimately spend most on medicine and other things that were needed before I left the states.  My fiance has the responsibility of ordering my medicine every month and shipping it to me or else I can die.  It's a scary realization that most of my paychecks will go to medicine to help me live and school loans, but it is what it is.  When I am in China I will be searching for similar insulin's to the one's I order in the US because I believe they will be cheaper if not easier to obtain in China.  Hopefully I discover some.

Another interesting fact is air travel while carrying luggage or checking bags.  Why does finding out how much a bag costs to check on an international flight so confusing? I mean there are different prices when you fly out of different airports for christ's sake! I've come to realize that one of my checked bags might be free (yay if so) or that my bags will cost $100+ and that each bag could weigh 50lbs or 44lbs, which is ridiculous.  It's really not that big of a weight difference, but when you're going to spend a year in another country that doesn't have clothes or shoes that will fit you, or another country that wont let you leave until a year; it gets really difficult.  I would just like to know which weight it is.  I only have two bags to check, so hopefully the first is free.  Carrying on luggage: I have one backpack and a roller laptop case, both hold important electronics and all my essential medications, so I should be fine there.  I might bring my penguin pillow pet as I am flying for over twenty-four hours I believe, but that has yet to be decided.

Now that I read over all the stuff I just wrote I realize I sound really stressed, but honestly stressing is what I do best, so no worries.

I encourage everyone to take steps towards something you never thought you would do.  In the end it's always going to be an adventure of a lifetime.

Take that chance and show everyone that you can do it!